A monster dwells inside of me. A demon. She cries an eye for an eye, though justice is not her name.
I have caged her. Poured water on her head. Tried to forget.
Still she escapes her bonds from time to time. Less often now than before. When met with like she grows stronger. Malevolent and wild.
Only a loving eye, like a mirror held, sends her back to her cage.
Then I am ashamed. Left in the aftermath of her will.
I say: only a loving eye, like a mirror held, sends her back to her cage (yr words-pretty powerful) but but but … not to be caged surely?
She is too destructive to roam freely. It is my failing. I’ve not understood her well enough yet to teach her better manners.
There is always that danger of her being overly destructive – the wild gal could do with better understanding-and acceptance?
Agreed. She and I have been working on that for some time now. It is getting better, or perhaps she’s just getting old and tired. Either way she asserts her angry self with less frequency now than in my youth. …writing the book and the therapy which preceded it, helped tremendously. In fact, the book is the story of my method of dealing with her, her source, and the anxiety she transforms into when left unattended for too long.
I say: Your book is lovely, I much enjoyed it and I wondered whether the author was the same person as the writer but now that I have received your reply, my question is answered!
I say: I wrote too quickly.. I wondered whether the author and the protagonist Sophia and the author were one and the same… Sorry for my speedy writing in post above which makes no sense.
I understood you.